Most of my daily work consists of providing acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and supplements to help get women's (and men's) bodies back into balance naturally, so that conception is possible. But there is a portion of every appointment that is emotional. I listen to women as they struggle mightily with the sadness, grief, and cautious hope that characterizes the journey through infertility. I believe it helps my patients to have a neutral person to unload to, who will encourage them and offer support. 

One of the top frustrations my female patients confide about is the pressure they are under. They feel the expectations of their family, their spouses, their friends, and commonly, their mothers and mothers-in-law. It's a persistent enough complaint that I am compelled to write this advice to future grandmas.

Don't alienate your daughters. Make friends with her. Deepen your friendship with her. Make seeing you a pleasant experience that brings happiness to you both. In the same way I suggest to my patients that they should make a bucket list of fun they would like to have before having a baby, I think future grandmas should find ways to bond with their adult children that will build a foundation of love and mutual respect. Seek out activities that work on your friendship.

Constantly asking how the treatments are going and checking in on the baby question adds great pressure and stress to your daughter. Leave it alone. Allow your children to give you the information they would like to as they feel comfortable sharing it. 

From my perspective as the shoulder to cry on, this approach would help everyone feel a little more grounded.

Feel free to share this blog and my website with your friends. I love to help people have babies.
Yours in good health,
Rachel Blunk, L.Ac.

Rachel Blunk is a fellow of the American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine who has specialized in fertility since 2002. Her practice is located in Fort Collins, Colorado. See more at www.BabyByBlunk.com. 

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As a fertility acupuncturist in Fort Collins, Colorado, I'm one of the only people doing this work in my region. So many women struggle with fertility issues. I want them to hear the message that acupuncture can help.
Infertility is hard. I see women every day who are despondent about their inability to have a baby. By far, the biggest issue women deal with is the stress of trying and failing to reach a goal. And yet, the message they seem to hear over and over is "Don't Stress". 

Stress does have an impact on fertility, but that message can be oversold. Yes, it impacts your sympathetic nervous system. Stress supercharges your fight or flight reflex; that's how women through the ages were able to get up and flee from a lion. 

But how do you tell someone to stop worrying about something? The message itself just adds more stress. That doesn't work. Instead here is what I tell patients:

Don't sit around waiting around and hoping, fretting, and worrying. Make a list of all the things that would be hard to do with a newborn. Wind surfing? Going to dinner and movies? International travel? Triathlon training? Make that bucket list, whatever it is, and then go do it.

The chances are very high that you will have a baby soon.  I estimate that 85% of all my patients go on to have a baby when using both Eastern and Western modalities. So, take all that effort you were putting into worrying, and channel it toward something that will make you happy in the meantime. By the end of the process you may have a killer passport or a race medal... AND a baby!

As an acupuncturist specializing in fertility, I am acutely tuned into the issues that women (and men) face when having trouble starting a family. This journey started for me when I, too, had trouble conceiving. I was determined to figure out a solution and knew from my education at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, that acupuncture was a powerful tool. That journey was what ultimately gave me my own two children and helped me find my professional calling. 

Now that I have my two kids, it's very satisfying to help people who have been struggling with fertility. As a part of my practice in Fort Collins, Colorado, I work with reproductive endocrinologists (REs), OB/GYNs and nurse midwives to help their patients get pregnant. And it WORKS! 85 % of my patients go on to have babies. I feel incredibly fortunate to do the work I do. 

With over 12 years experience in fertility acupuncture, I have had many years to consider the advice I give to patients. When women first come to me, they are overwhelmed and frustrated with their efforts to get pregnant. Often, they are burdened with too much information from the internet and well-meaning friends or family. At the same time, ironically, they are suffering from a lack of solid data.

The one piece of advice I give to every single patient is get evaluated. You need to answer that “why” question before any other. If there are anatomical issues preventing you from conceiving, you need to know that.
Go see an acupuncturist if you have been trying to get pregnant for six months with no luck. If you have been trying for over a year, see a reproductive endocrinologist. And definitely, without question, go to an RE first if you are over age 35. There are things that I can't see as an acupuncturist, like blocked fallopian tubes or a uterine septum. At later ages, women don't have much time to waste trying out alternatives. 

More than advice from your girlfriends or inventive sex positions from women's magazines, what you need is data about your specific reproductive system. Without knowing exactly what is preventing you from conceiving, any solutions you may try will be blind.